2017 -A Full Course Meal
Hi, it’s me. Angela.
I've come to say a few things to you regarding these rough three-hundred-somethin days we’ve shared thus far. You suck 2017.
You actually literally sucked the life out of me and I willingly allowed you to in the names of determination and passion, when really the burnout I experienced this year was due to a series of poor decisions and procrastination.
Yeah, I’ll be hard on myself because it’s the truth. Hard working, yes that I am, but efficient and resourceful, those things I am not.
Of all of the people I know, and I know about 5 or 6… My father is the wisest. He’s a man of few words as they say. My father is often repetitive when he does speak, because he wants what he says to be heard and replayed in your head until you take heed. “Angela, you got to get serious! You got to get serious!” I think the last time he said this to me was about 5 years ago, and it still resonates.
Maybe it’s just me, but have you ever really thought about how sometimes a lot of your “accomplishments” were really times when you “just got by?” You barely made it. Well in many (too many) of my experiences, I barely made it. Although still honorable, I’m troubled by the fact that I made it entirely too hard to attain successes by being the selfish, lazy human that I really am. I’ve always had issues with not being serious enough.
Are you being serious about your goals, or are you playin games?
I'm not listing my shortcomings in order to downplay my achievements, but merely to remind myself that I’m capable of more and that my quality of life greatly improves when my actions are intentional and my time is prioritized. I have been back and forth about writing this blog for the longest time. Last year, I promised myself I’d get it out about before 2017. It’s now December of 2017, and I’m making the same promise again. I had to make myself purchase a domain because as my father once told me “people tend to value things that they have to pay for.” So here I am, pursuing this because I made an investment, and I refuse to lose my valuable, hard-earned, oh-so-needed-right-now coins for nada. Money makes everything serious, especially when you don’t have much of it.
2017, I hate you for all the stress you’ve caused me, but I love you because my life kind of looks decent on paper. I finessed my credit and was able to put my daughter in a spacious home that she can run around in and jump around without disturbing the tenants living downstairs. I celebrated my first year of marriage, collaborated on several projects with my husband and learned we make an OK team. I completed my first year of b-school and did well in every class, even in accounting, which I somehow found to be intriguing although the logic still depresses me. I survived the job search process, and successfully negotiated a job offer at one of the top workplaces in my area. I became focused on my health, started eating more spinach, less rice, hit the treadmill and finally dropped that 10 pounds I had been wanting to lose. Those were happy moments, but the stress… Lord the stress.
When I really sit and think about it, the previous year, 2016 was similar in that I made some big moves, had plenty of happy moments but was plenty stressed out. Last year I traveled and took my daughter to Africa, ate some incredible Pakistani cuisine in Dubai, celebrated my acceptance letter to b-school, received a promotion at my former place of employment, and married my husband all in one year. The commonalities between both years being: success, growth and an abundance of stress.
My conclusion is this is the new norm that may need a few tweaks. There are a few constants: I must give my child the best life I can; I must grow; I must succeed; I must chase opportunities.
Most importantly, I MUST minimize stress.
Why? Because stress kills.
I’ve asked for the biggest, fullest plate. The entrée is currently:
With maybe too big, a helping of:
And a modest dessert of:
- Self Care
- Interpersonal relationships
My goal of this blog is to share my views, my stories, and my (debatable but honest) advice on how I'm tackling this full course meal with as much grace as possible. I'm praying and hoping to have more dessert in 2018.
It's been swell. Bye 2017!