Celebrating Our Skin Through Reading - Sulwe
Last October, Bella’s godmother sent her a very special book, titled Sulwe.
Sulwe by Lupita Nyong’o is now one of our favorite books to read at bedtime.
Sulwe is the story of a beautiful dark skinned girl named Sulwe. In her family she has the darkest complexion of her mother, father, and her sister Mich, who is very light skinned. Sulwe compares her skin tone to her sister, because at school, people admire her sister’s light skin, while they make fun of Sulwe’s dark complexion. Sulwe feels sad about this, and begins to dislike her skin, wishing it were lighter. However, one night, she takes a ride on a shooting star. On her supernatural journey, she learns that her skin is just as beautiful as the other shades of color. She also learns through the metaphor of day and night, that her skin color is no mistake, and that she was designed with purpose.
The illustrations by Vashti Harrison are just as captivating as the words on the pages of the book. She does an amazing job of capturing the beauty of darkness. I’m proud of this book. I’m in awe of Lupita and Vashti creating a children’s book that is so touching and meaningful. ALL children would benefit from reading Sulwe. I would even recommend this book to adults who don’t have children to give it a read.
My Experience With Colorism Growing Up
When I speak, I speak of my own black experience. What I can say about being a black person in the U.S., in the simplest of terms, is that it’s complicated. While dealing with the many issues that arise from being a minority in a country where institutionalized racism exists, I’ve also come to find that there is a lot of hurt and pain surrounding colorism within my race.
My father is dark skinned, and I am considered light skinned. My father used to jokingly say to me that we are colored people because we literally come in a variation of colors. Thinking about my own immediate family: my father, my mother, me, and my brother - we are all very different shades from each other. I grew up a light skinned kid, so a lot of the feelings expressed by Sulwe in the book, I cannot particularly say I’ve experienced. What I do know for fact is that kids in school would often pick on children who were darker skinned. Even as an adult, there exists some praising and fetishizing of lighter skin in the black community. Often times our society considers a black woman to be beautiful when she “looks foreign,” mixed-race, or is racially-ambiguous.
I generally don’t even participate in conversations about colorism, because I don’t feel it’s really my place to speak on it. Colorism hasn’t particularly affected me negatively in a substantial way. To be able to say that is me recognizing privilege in my circumstance. There’s a lot of obstacles and pains that I just haven’t had to overcome or endure, that many others have. It’s a touchy subject, so I err on the side of caution when it comes up.
However, it wasn’t until I became a parent, that colorism really started to affect my life on a personal level.
My Experience with Colorism as a Mom
My first experience with colorism as a mother was while I was pregnant with Bella. It was a big thing then, and maybe still is idk, that I was with an African man, and having a child with him. What was also a big thing was the contrast of our skin complexions. I remember when I was pregnant, someone asking me if I were nervous about my child being her father’s complexion. Of all the things to be concerned about, you know like, a HEALTHY baby, and a SAFE delivery, skin color was something to be nervous about?
I remember when I gave birth to my daughter, how quickly people were to look behind her ear, to know her true skin color, and to gauge how “dark” she would be. After people would look behind her ear, they seemed relieved and happy, commenting that she wouldn’t be “too dark.” I remember her first or second summer, people “jokingly” warning me to not let my daughter in the sun too much.
Yes, the idea of protecting your black children from the sun to avoid getting dark is SO colorist. It’s also foolish.
This past summer, Bella was the flower girl in a wedding. My son had just been born, maybe 10 weeks old. We all went to the wedding, and Bella was excited to show off her new baby brother. While she was introducing the baby, I overheard another child telling Bella “I’m light skin, you’re middle brown, and your brother is daaaaaark brown.” I wasn’t sure if I should intervene in the conversation. I didn’t want to be that mom, inserting herself into Pre-K conversations, arguing with babies, but I also didn’t appreciate the negative tone which the child used in describing my children’s skin color. Call me naive, but I wasn’t expecting to run into this so early on in my kids’ lives.
These days I’m faced with handling these discussions of color with my 5 year old, and I’ll admit I’m not entirely sure how to approach it. She asks a lot of questions, and I don’t always have proper answers. The answers are complex, sometimes not necessarily age appropriate. We will get there one day. For today though, I just want for her to be happy with who she is.
I desire for my children to always be proud of who they are, and to feel beautiful in their own skin.
Why ‘Sulwe’ is Important
Sulwe is an exceptional introduction to colorism. Books help us to understand. Books help us to frame problems. Through books we relate to others. Sulwe does all of those things in such a beautiful way. I seriously am so moved by the book, that I often think I enjoy reading it more than Bella does.
For the dark skinned child, it is an affirmation that your skin is beautiful. To the lighter skinned child, it is a reminder that your skin is not better than your darker skinned brothers and sisters, and to the white child, it may help him or her to understand some of the unique challenges that black children face. That’s my personal take on the book, and why it’s so important to me.
In a broader sense, there’s the message that there is beauty in our differences. There is MEANING in our differences. There is a reason why I am me, and why you are you. Sulwe, which means “Star” in Luo (Lupita’s native Kenyan dialect) shows us that we all can be a light in some way.
Lupita Ny’ongo is a beautiful, Kenyan, Oscar award winning actress.
However, as a black mother, I regard her as a treasured storyteller who has written something so incredibly valuable for our children. These are the kind of children’s books we need in our world today.
Happy Black History Month. Thanks to Lupita for telling the story of so many children. Thanks to my bestie Courtney for sending us such an amazing read.
Be sure to catch some of my other Black History Posts: Raising Your Child in a Multicultural Home, Awkward Black Girl at Work, Black Girl Work Out: Twyla Denise
